it's all a matter of perspective!

so it's difficult for me...

I have yet to desire my "style" as a professional designer. A really great designer, you can see their work and KNOW that it was designed by so and so. Probably the best example being Andy Warhol. That man looked at things from a perspective I can't even imagine. I mean, I can because he first did it, but I really honestly CAN'T!

A friend of mine handed me a flyer about a week ago for an event from a year or two ago, as soon as I saw it I said to him, " Darin designed this didn't she?"

Darin is a super good friend whom I started a magazine with (bleacht). I know her style, I worked with her long enough that if I see her work I know it's hers.

I don't have that with my work. There's nothing that ties them all together or anything. They have no identity. They have whatever I was feeling at the time in them but they don't have ME in them.

I get very frustrated with this.

on a fairly regularly basis.

But then I have to remind myself that the handful of people that I compare myself to, on a regular basis, are a lot older then me, not all, but most. But I always feel like I'm making an excuse when I say that, but the truth is, I've only been doing this design thing hardcore for like...

2 years or so.

Wow. When I actually sit and think about it and get it out on paper... or screen, I'm just a baby designer. And let me just say, it's pretty intense how much I've grown as a designer, how much I've matured and grown and developed. Even outside of print and web design, I have began to feel creative at all times and find myself sketching or doodling or whatever, all the time.

Even with that realization, it saddens me to know that I wasted so much time. I've been doing graphic/web design for about 5 years, starting my senior year in high school and I can only say that I've been doing this hardcore for like 2 years or so.

I don't want to be able to say in 2 more years that I wasted time. I want to make sure that I'm continuously growing and working and putting out consistent work that reflects me.

I want my designs to be a PART of me. I want people to be able to see them and say, Conrad designed that. I want to take more pride in my work.

I want to stop wasting time.

I feel like I say that a lot in these blogs, but it's the truth. I have goals and things that I want to do, and sometimes... the only thing that I feel like is stopping me...

is me.

If I'm not giving my all and actually actively pursuing what I feel I'm supposed to be doing, how can I say that I'm giving glory to my Creator? I was listening to one of Matt Chandler's latest sermons and he said something that really really hit me. Everyone's life, whether they want to believe it or not, is going to glorify God. Either through His love and grace that He's given us, or through His justice, HE will be glorified.

that's deep.

I want to glorify God through my life and actually use the talents He's given me for Him and His people.

I want to live a radical life. I pray that He'll shake me and break me and show me His glory in my life and guide me through the decisions that we need to make.

Guide me Father. Show me Your Will and help us to make decisions that glorify you and exalt you. All things end with you being glorified Father, but help us to glorify you to the best of our abilities now, bringing your Kingdom to earth and not waiting to go to Your Kingdom.

In Jesus Name.